Ok boys. Stein Ove, you scored against Hønefoss last season, so you’ll be close to their goal. Niko, you scored against Kongsvinger, so you’ll play up against Hønefoss. No, Kongsvinger. Sorry. We struck a deal with Kongsvinger earlier. Both teams will attack Hønefoss more. But you know Kongsvinger. You can’t trust them. Are we ready?
– Yes That cheer could’ve been better, but okay. Kim – try and stay at the halfway line, so you can counter attack into both halves. Set pieces – take them as quickly as possible. The first man to the ball takes it. Everyone go towards one goal, but Kim and Tuelo (the strikers) run towards the other goal. Welcome to Valhall and this three-way football match between Haugesund, Hønefoss and Kongsvinger. And already we have our first challenge.
– Which team gets to kick off? A coin toss won’t work. We don’t have a three sided coin. I think we’ll have to use the good old rock, paper, scissors routine. It looks like Hønefoss won the kick off. They start out in a defensive formation. Hønefoss have two players in Haugesund’s half. Kongsvinger passes backwards. Let us see here. Carl Erik Torp. And that’s a corner kick. The first team to the ball gets it.
– Okay, let us see which team is the fastest. He closes his eyes before he shoots there.
– He still has that Norwegian Championship division quality even though they were promoted. The goalkeeper is way out of his zone. He hasn’t gotten used to the fact that he only gets to use the six yard box. Oh, it hits the wall… and that’s a goal for Haugesund. Number 22 – Sten Ove Eike. And it is Haugesund who scores again. It’s 2-0. Just 2-0 against Hønefoss, though. The other games are still draws as it stands. What a save from Are Tronset! That was important. This is a good time to attack. Yes! A controlled finish! Kristian Jahr, number 19. Hønefoss has had a hard time. They’re now trailing behind in both matches. Half Time It turns out we can’t trust any of the other teams, so we’ll have to do the work ourselves. In the 2nd half, we’ll go out and try to score against Kongsvinger. We have a deal with Hønefoss, but if we concede, we need to stab them in the back. Looking at the results we see that our alliance with Kongsvinger has worked out well. But I think it’s time to stab them in the back. We’re ready for the 2nd half. Hønefoss have a job to do. They need to try and turn two matches around. Here we have a change of halves. Well, it’s more of a rotation… And it’s Kongsvinger that plays… sort of crossing from left to right… well, this is impossible to explain, really. But the game has restarted. Tuelo. The ball isn’t out. The goal has been disallowed. Was the ball out of play? It looks like the linesman… Was the ball out or not? The linesman doesn’t look sure. I suspect that this isn’t a linesman but an extra. Both teams lead Hønefoss 2-0. What is happening? They have to cheat. And that’s something they’re familiar with in Hønefoss. And that’s their first goal. That’s nice. It’s nice to see that the teams celebrate together. Cool as ice. We’re in a situation where…
Well, it’s close at least… it’s easy to lose track. Tuelo is quick. Look at this. Will he go all the way?
– He is dribbling through two teams. Look at that! What a goal from Olav Tuelo Johannesen! He has scored on both goals! If the Vålerenga-coach is watching this – buy this player. KIL leads this on goal difference… no they don’t… I’m lost. No, their goal difference is negative… no, they’re even… errr… All the teams have three points each. But this will be decided on goal difference. And the game is finished. We’re applauding the winner – and the winner is FK Haugesund who wins on goal difference. Who’s last?
– You’re asking a tough question. We’re touching the weakness of this idea. Normally when the game is finished you can cheer or cry. That’s not possible with this concept. In this sport, you need some sort of notebook to work out who wins. We should have had a statistician of some sort as a side commentator if this were to work properly.