“Arab Men” | Russell Peters – Notorious

“Arab Men” | Russell Peters – Notorious
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>>Russell Peters: My Lebanese friends, ever gone back to Beirut? [Audience members cheer] Let me tell you something. I’ve partied, all over the world, and by far, without trying to suck up to you guys, ‘Cause I’m scared– [Laughter] but out of all the places I’ve been to, in the world, Beirut parties, like you’ve never seen, before. [Audience cheers] They literally party, like there’s no tomorrow! [Laughter] [Laughter and Clapping] There could, very well be, over there, you know? [Laughter] And you’ve never seen chain-smoking, like you– like, you go to Beirut, you see chain-smoking! To us, chainsmokers light up a cigarette, finish, throw it on the ground, and start another one. Lebanon? Three at a time. One in this hand, one in this hand, and, like, one of those fake blue ones for safety, you know what I mean? [Laughter] And I’m like, “Dude, aren’t you worried about getting cancer?” [Arabic accent] “I will never die of cancer.” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Do you have the cure?” [Laughter] [Arabic accent] “The Yehudis will kill me, well before the cancer can, I don’t have to worry about that!” [Laughter] “Cancer– AIDS– No disease, will get me, don’t worry!” [Laughter] I know what the problem is, in the Middle East. My Arab friends, listen up. Here’s how to start change, over there. Here’s what the first problem is. Arab men– will never say, [Arabic accent] “No! I don’t know.” [Laughter] They will never say no, and they will never admit, to not knowing something. It, somehow, emasculates an Arab man, to not know something. It doesn’t matter what it is– if he doesn’t know, he’ll make up a story. [Laughter] And he will yell it, at you! [Laughter] Doesn’t matter what you ask him, it could be something as simple as, “Hey uh, do you know how to make a cake?” [Arabic accent] “Yes, of course.” [Laughter] “Everybody knows how to make cake!” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Really? ‘Cause I don’t know how to make cake.” [No audio] “Could you show me?” [Low laughter] [Arabic accent] “Yes.” [Laughter] You know how you can tell, when an Arab guy’s lying? He’ll start his answer off with, [Arabic accent] “Okay.” [Laughter] That’s the fucking tip-off, when you know he’s lying– right then. ‘Cause I’m like, “Really? I don’t know how to make a cake. How do you make a cake?” [Arabic accent] “Okay.” [Laughter] “First, you get cake.” [Laughter] “Then, you make it, for 20 minutes.” [Laughter] “Then, you have cake.” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Are you sure?” “Cause I don’t think that’s how you make cake.” [Yelling in an Arabic accent] “THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE CAKE!” [Laughter] ‘THEY HAVE BEEN MAKING CAKE, LIKE THAT, SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!” [Laughter] I’m like, “Alright, don’t get crazy! I’m just asking.” It’s true! It doesn’t matter what you ask them. If they don’t know, they will make up a story It’s– and this really happened to me, last year. I was in Dubai. I was in Bloomingdale’s, the department store. The American department store. So, clearly, there’s a problem with the Jews and the Arabs. So, I’m in Bloomingdale’s– I’m looking to leave the store. I’m looking for an escalator, I see a security guy, standing there, I walk up, and I go, “Hi, is there an escalator in here?” [Arabic accent] “Yes.” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Uh, do you know where it is?” [Arabic accent] “Yes, of course.” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Do you think you could tell me, where it is? [Laughter] [Arabic accent] “Yes.” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Fuckin’ tell me then!” [Laughter] [Arabic accent] “Okay–” [Laughter] “You go straight, then left, then right.” [Low laughter] I have no reason to doubt this guy. Go straight, then left, then right. So, I go straight– I go left– and I go right, into a wall! [Laughter] There’s another guy, working in that part of the store. I go, “Excuse me, is there an escalator, here?” He goes, [Arabic accent] “Do you see one?” [Laughter] I go, “No, I don’t see one. That’s why I’m asking.” [Arabic accent] “Do you think, maybe, they put a wall in front of it? [Laughter] I go, “I don’t know what I think, that’s why I’m asking you!” [Arabic accent] “Why would you think there is an escalator, on this wall?” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Cause some guy, that worked here, told me, there was an escalator, here. [Arabic accent] “Maybe he lied.” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Who the Hell lies, about an escalator?!” [Arabic accent] “Apparently that guy.” [Laughter] I go, “Is there an escalator, in your store?!” [Arabic accent] “Of course! How else you go up and down?” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Do you know, where it is?” [Arabic accent] “I work here! [Normal voice] “So did that guy!” [Laughter] “Can you tell me, where it is?” [Arabic accent] “Yes.” [Low laughter] [Yelling in normal voice] “WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!” [Laughter] [Arabic accent] “Okay–” [Laughter] “You have to go back–” [Low laughter] “Then go straight, then left, then right.” I go, “No, no, no, no! That’s how I ended up here. Those are the same directions!” [Arabic accent] Well, that’s where it is.” [Normal voice] “Are you sure?” [Arabic accent] “Why would I lie? [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Why would that guy lie?!” [Arabic accent] “That’s his problem.” [Laughter] I go, “Okay, thank you.” So, I go back. I walked past the guy, that gave me the bullshit directions. Now, I’m hoping, as a man, that this guy, is going to continue the lie, for me. At least, do that, you know? When I say, “Hey man, there’s no escalator, over there.” I’m hoping this guy’s gonna be like, [Shocked Arabic accent] “What?!” “It was just there, one hour ago!” [Laughter] “They moved it?!” [Laughter] But nothing! I go, “Hey man, there’s no escalator, over there.” This guy goes– [Laughter] That’s the problem, in the Middle East. Arab men, you need to know how to say, [Arabic accent] “No! I don’t know.” Do you realize how much shit could’ve been avoided? The Iraq War, would never have happened! [Low laughter] They knew they didn’t have weapons of mass destruction! [Laughter] But when the U.S. asked them, “Do you have weapons of mass destruction?” [Arabic accent] “Yes, of course.” [Laughter] [Laughter and Clapping] “Everybody has weapons of mass destruction!” [Laughter] Even the Iraqi people were like, [Arabic accent] “What are you doing?! Shut up!” [Laughter] [North American accent] “Where are they?” [Arabic accent] “Okay–” [Laughter] “Go straight, then left, then right.” [Laughter] ♪ ♪

100 thoughts on ““Arab Men” | Russell Peters – Notorious

  1. he's lying about the escelator story .. because arab people dont work as security in dubai .. indians work as security there
    so i would assume that his other stories were lies
    im syrian btw and i live in dubai
    plus this guy is ignorant
    iraqi people said they don't have any weapons of mass destruction and the US knew ( according to susan lindawer)
    but the americans still had to fuck up everthing like they always do ..(recently i saw an interview of the american councel or some position like that .. and he said that they wanted to give the ruling to shia as they were the majority which they arent.

    plus russel doesnt knoe that lebanese people dont fear yahudis .. they fear dying in a cevil war between maybe sunni and shia or between druze
    so basically this guy makes up jokes that show his level of ignorance.

  2. الحمد لله انني من المسلمين العرب بتحديد ❤

  3. Its quite interesting to see in Real Time how the Crowd reacted. The Political Correct section all went quiet as if something Forbidden or discriminatory has been said. Do note many Arabs agree of Russell's general observation of how Arabs behave. When the Joke is on Indian the indians laugh, on the chinese the chinese takes no offense but when the PC crowd section its like this is insensitive or is prejudiced or something. Fact and Reality isn't about Political Correctness but about stating out the Obvious. Jokes, comedy, satire reflect society's best and worse. If you cannot take criticism or face the truth all you are doing is just hiding your head in the sand. Nobody is perfect and no race or Religion is Perfect. Its only Perfect in your own minds according to what you believe. Belief without basing on evidence is just Superstition. This is why Religion try their hardest to either discredit Science = Evidence or claim Science come from Religion and come up with lots of Psedo and Fake claims.

  4. His accents are sooo on point. Arab men lie just as much as every other man. He’s tooooo funny… love ya😂😂😂

  5. Aww 🥰 he is sooo cute and funny 😄 !! God bless him !!! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

  6. I was born in Abu Dhabi, and I look for a non-Arab security guard at the mall possibly Indian or Asian as long as he is not Arab he wont get me lost

  7. There is no Beriut party… He just made one up for a lame punchline. This special was meh at best… Peter used to be rlly funny.

  8. ما شعورك و أنت مضحكة الأمم أيهالعربي؟ لاحظ هذا اللعين الحقير لما بيعمل حاله عم يحكي مع عرب بيطلع لأسفل. مع أنه هندي و الهنود من يوم يومهن ممسحة لحذائي و أحذية كل العرب

  9. bullshit comedy…specially when it comes to the Arabs
    they became soft targets for the comedians…because of the western media…always showing them as terrorists and ignorant…
    but what about the Indians who lick the feet of the westerns…

  10. Fucking idiot takes lies about Arabs
    Arabs are super good and nice persons
    This guys has the Israel propaganda
    Islamaphobia ! Fucking idiot

  11. You are totally wrong…… Iraqi government told them (((( the United nation and US government)))) that we don’t have a mass distraction weapons for a hundred times …… and they didn’t want to believe.

  12. he's probably right about arabs, but what he's saying is ESPECIALLY true of Indian men. They literally cannot tell you "no", it's forbidden socially or sth. I've asked for directions, asked if they had any X or Y items in the shop, and even if they didn't know or didn't have what I wanted the answer was always 'Yes' and never "No" or "I don't know". Never, ever ever.

  13. ?Americans : Do you have nuclear weapons
    .Iraq : yes, everybody have
    Americans :We don't found any thing . we must leave right now
    !!!!!Americans : Do you have OIL ?? IRAQ: NO , we don't have
    . Americans: Okay we will check

    .and I AM saying untill now they are checking

  14. It is funny, however would have been more appropriate to limit it to my Arab friend instead of Arab men just to avoid silly trap of stereotyping and still maintain humorous level of critics.

  15. How you managed to go upstairs if there is no escalator & its dubai so every store must have 7-8 floors, just making this shit up

  16. wow.. HOW DELIRIOUS YOU THINK YOU ARE.. but I swear the crowd Isabel laughing because they paid for this or they don't know any thing about Arabs man I'm not defending any one but this not true and this is not funny at all.

  17. Pilot on 911: "I am having a stroke! I can't feel my hands! Are you sure you can fly this plane?"

    Arab: "Yes of course. Everyone can fly plane."

    Pilot: "Do you think you could avoid the twin towers?"

    Arab: "Okay…"

  18. I am Iraqi
    I agree with Peter when he said that Arab men don't say I don't know
    But about the war on Iraq
    We were telling the world and America
    We do not have weapons of mass destruction
    UN inspection committees
    Have demonstrated this in their reports
    Despite the obstruction of the Iraqi government at the time
    The war was to destroy Iraq
    Because it is the only resistance to America
    And also to steal Iraq's oil
    And make the country a screwdriver
    And when they failed not to find weapons of mass destruction
    Or any relationship to Iraq with al Qaeda.
    They changed the novel
    They said we wanted to issue
      "Democracy for Iraq"
    And when the creative mess has befallen
    The Iraqi people resisted America and its allies
    72,000 US troops have been killed
    And 11,800 thousand soldiers committed suicide
    From the hell they saw at the hands of the Iraqis
    And three trillion dollars were war losses
    US forces withdrew
    From Iraq in 2011
    It was defeated at the hands of the Iraqi resistance
    It has not waged war since then
    Because she learned the lesson

  19. I find this guy funny, but I find it funny how a lot of Muslims turn comedy in to a race war in the comment section lol.

  20. Us always wanted to got for war with Iraq ..even if Iraq would have said no to war..usa would have still attacked Iraq BCS they kept their fucking eyes on oil….they fucked with Vietnam who did not have weapons of mass destruction. But they fought the war and gave USA the taste of their own medicine ..now they are behind Iran ,.

  21. Funny ( well not really ) how his whole set is throwing shade on other races but if a white comedian does that ? Well, we all know what will happen

  22. Lmao even though I am a Lebanese and from Beirut I can tell you what you are saying is true
    But actually some days the truth and doesn't lie
    God bless you ❤

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