What did footballers get in their Not-So-Secret Football Santa this year? Let’s find out! Luka sent me this for Christmas! He stole it! Demba Ba just what we need! Zlatan’s presence is your present… Clump of hair from Fellaini… All you need to hang like a stocking… Longer arms is all I need!!! Divock Claus made me so happy! With a goal in our derby! I just want you to come home… No! A smaller nose, love Gonzalo?! He’ll make it quick love Mou! I would like a refund… thank you! I’m doing a collection for Wanks… Winks! I mean Harry Winks!!! Human Rights – A Guidebook… For people everywhere? Mumbo jumbo! There’s the sound of laughter! As we dye Kevin’s hair! What?! It’s thinning! Wow! So slimming… I’ll see my family swimming! Daddy – I bring you, the list you said you need! The people who did not vote for me! LET’S GO!!!! ALL I WANT THIS XMAS … is a peak… is a peaky blinders book ALL I WANT THIS XMAS… is a peak but I won’t look I WON’T QUIT FOR XMAS! But I will Sarri! I WON’T COST THIS XMAS… a contract? maybe? ALL I WANT FOR THIS CLUB… is 400 million… PIES! All we want for this club… is a world class Brazilian EYES!!! TADA! Neymar? Can look now! What a let down What? We’d asked for Firmino What? WHAT?!